Lyndon Novotny
As I walked off the track, I hung my head in shame. I walked right past my coach, family, and teammates, straight to my bag. I had just finished racing the mile at the state meet, but broke down mentally and fell apart. After my worst performance of the year, I couldn’t bring myself to face anyone at the time. To make matters worse, my soon to be college coach had been there to witness my abysmal performance. With thousands of people in the crowd, my only hope was to sink into the swarm around me, hoping not to see him. Understanding the frustration running through my body, he left me to myself. Fearing the questions from my friends, I got up and began to walk around the stadium, wandering in my sorrows. My mind began to wander, failure overwhelming me. I began to wonder if collegiate athletics was for me, or if I should just give up and quit. Quitting seemed the logical answer, s I thought there was no chance of success left for me.
Over the next few days, I dreaded my next contact with my coach. There it was, a new email, sitting, waiting for me to open it.
I read in shock. I re-read it just to verify. My coach had sent me a summer running schedule full of workouts and detailed instructions. For a moment I did not understand, but soon I realized what had occurred. Though I had one bad race at the end of the year, he knew it was not reflective of my true ability. He maintained faith in me and was not going to give me an excuse to end my athletic career so young. Since then I regained my confidence and continue to improve.
Story Point: Always stay confident in your abilities in times of struggle, others will.
Word count: 295
I like how you describe "sink[ing] into the swarm" of people around you when conveying your shame and how you emphasized the your fear of the e-mail . Two things I would suggest are to "show" a little more about the specific moment of your "abysmal performance" and then to transition this event to your anticipation of the e-mail and your ultimate realization.
ReplyDeleteJust like Lauren said the only thing I would change would to show more about that moment and how scared you were. I can relate to your story a lot and I know the feeling.
ReplyDeleteIt's great how people can relate to your story. I think music and pictures would really emphasize the moment. Be sure to pick them carefully. When you add the music try to make sure you can relive that feeling again so that the audience can be there.
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